hahahaha

2007-02-08T02:58:00.000+08:00

i've finally decided to start blogging again since I have so much free time thanks to my jolly, all expenses paid, long break from the army. I guess its most appropriate that the first thing i talk about is my knee.

On hindsight, its really amazing how much a torn ligament can alter your life, and serve as divine revelation to the plans that God has for you. Either that or you can just view it as "Right ACL tear + torn meniscus = long break from NS hoohahooray". Whatever way you choose to look at it, it's still undoubtedly a good conversation topic ("yeah they took this muscle out to replace that torn part..amazing right"), a convenient method of bringing out the motherly instincts of females ("ohh poor you, you can't walk! i'll visit you sometime with lots of goodies don't worry!") as well a +10 boost to your hero status ("wow you must have gone through so much pain! so brave!") At this point I have to stress how much I love all the people who made me feel like a king over the last month, you have no idea how grateful I am to all of you :)

So anyway, how on earth does any good come out of torn ligament, when I'm unable to get into OCS and become a pilot and all the jazz. That ran through my head about a million times when they declared me to be unfit to carry on with bmt. From soccer captain to lame soldier, quite big difference you know. It took me a whole afternoon to come to terms with it, and finally i remember making a declaration: "whatever happens from now God, I know you're behind it all." And it was done. It was a crucial turning point, cos it made me aware of what God was doing around me, how he was using my lameness to his glory. Its the beauty of prayer: you claim something in your life and you see how whatever unfolds is aligned to God's perfect plan.

So anyway, God showed me that I wasn't going to disintegrate and become a worthless, forgettable figure in the army. For starters, I was able to be a source of encouragement and a beacon of God's truth and light to the guys around me. I observed that God gave me more opportunities to talk to more pre-believers about him than I ever had while I was in JC. All in the span of on month. Abbas, my bunkmates, dickson, jingwen, jaimes, my fellow OOTs, it was amazing how God crafted a situation where I was able to meet and interact with these great people.

You can call it sheer dumb luck, uh ok so mike just happens to be my friend and church mate for the last 2 years and ends up in my company and ya jingwen just happens to have an injury which forces him out of bmt and gets posted to the same place as I. Plus ronald and chris my best friends in jc both get injured with me and again, posted to the same place. I call this divine intervention, and a clear sign that God can shape things in a way that gives you what you need, whether it be friends or whatever.

So anyway i get posted to oeti, and into the same course as a whole bunch of great guys, i'd name all but i'm lazy haha. Once again, I could see how my knee injury had landed me in the scenario that i was in, and how God had moulded that scenario into a beautiful one that reflected his greatness. There are countless examples that serve as proof of the great fellowship that I had with most of the guys at oeti, and all i can say is that i thank God for all of that. Ok well, there are still some who'll say that all this was luck at work again. Right. So, as luck would have it, i suddenly got foot and hand rot for honestly-i-dunno-what-reason and it was followed by another recurrance of my knee injury. No luck la maybe. It caused a surprising load of trouble, to cut everything short I was re-vocated to a desk job which first seemed like an utter bore cos I was literally alone in an office for the whole day without any of my oeti friends boohoo. You realise how despondent I sound cos I haven't used the big G in this situation yet. Yes, God.

So I pray again, and soon I notice the utter brilliance of my new life. A typical day in December: My office resounds with the music of my ipod as I draft christmas cards and await my early 12pm fall-out cos I'm clearing my annual leave in the form of half-days. Yes you will say, you didn't need to pray to find out your current life was obviously some wicked good stuff. Truth though, is that I did. I realized that when I hadn't yet committed the situation to God I was focussing more on how I was surrounded by people who weren't on the same wavelength as me i.e. officers and how I was pretty much alone in my new job. Even more so about how I was definitely impacting more people when i was around the oeti guys, while now I was jvery much a loner. You see, when you look at your life through your own 2 eyes, you're only given a limited perspective of goodness, such that when it's taken away from you, you feel empty and yearn for past glories. I'm not saying all of us are like that, but I know that when you look at life through God's eyes, you can definitely see goodness streaming out from every facet of your existance, because you know that he is the author and perfector of your faith, and ulitmately, your life.

So as you can see, one small muscle tear really changed alot of things in my life over the last year, and I didn't even focus on the immediate effects of it, like not being able to play football as freely as I would like to. In summary, I finally felt God's calling to go ahead with the knee operation and I'm currently witnessing a phenomenal recovery. To anyone who has any physical injury: lookie here, God heals. To those who feel disillusioned with life and have lost hope: God promises great things always, just ask for it. To everyone who's read this entry: every problem in your life is like a torn ligament, amazing things can come out of it.

2006-04-05T03:18:00.000+08:00

from the day i was born,
you just seemed to grow on me.
i'd stroke you adoringly,
wanting you to look beautiful.
i'd tug at you when i was stressed;
you were with me through it all.
your style was undeniable,
even through your growth and times of loss.
you were ever-present, you completed me,
soft to the touch, the shelter you gave me.

i'll miss you,
my hair

2006-01-30T18:54:00.000+08:00

I think my knee injury can go down as one of the most demoralising things thats happened to me in my life, and one of my biggest tests of faith. These last 2 months have been utterly crappy. Not being able to run or kick a ball without my knee giving way really sucks man. Plus all sorts of ominous signs like people telling me how their injuries have affected their physical activities for life blahblahblah..But having said that, i know that God'll manifest his miraculous healing by the time i enlist, my knee will be much stronger than before, and i'll be able to go into crunching tackles, burst past opponents and blast the ball into the top corner again. AMEN :)

we live by faith and not by sight

2006-01-27T15:17:00.000+08:00

wah crap next weeks gonna be my last week at my slack and fun job at the kindergarten..bah..haha the two 4yr old kissing kids were at it again during class today..they were dancing to some music and yeah smooching..so i went up to them..

me: oy you shouldnt be kissing him
girl: but i love him!
me: is that riiiight..and how do u know u love him eh?
girl: i dont know..i just do!

i think all girls should stay this way hahaha

2006-01-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

Harry: "Mr Zach, I need to poo poo"

wah yes. very fun. very.

2006-01-19T19:11:00.000+08:00

"Thomas you won't hurt Mr Zach anymore its not very nice!"

hahaha hello i am Mr Zach the kindergarten teacher, not those normal local kindergartens but an international one full of cute angmoh kids, hyper angmoh kids, a 4 yr old boy and a girl who kiss at the back of the class (im serious man..premature making out). My first real job yay. All i do is play with lego, cut activity sheets and go "aww dontch cry mummy will be back soon k! come i'll build a car for you!" haha and as josh oh and ben pointed out, u can teach the angmoh kids hokkien words to use on their parents when they go home hahahaha..but in all its actually quite fun and good money too! (my primary concern) AND SPEAKING OF MONEY, here's a tip for all j1s! pls study hard, and then intentionally screw up ur promo exams but do just enough to pass, and make a super comeback for ur j2 prelims and get a nice good progress award! $$$! free money and free laugh at muggers all arnd u who do consistently well that theres no good progress..hahaha kidding..anyway Mr Zach shall go for his naptime now..byebye

2005-12-03T18:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Zacharoy,

you have successfully accumulated a total of 7 demerit points. you need to do CIP work (ie. doing service in any National Library Branches-not school library) to neutralise your demerit. For two hours of CIP work, I will neutralise one demerit. you have to do CIP asap because very soon you will find yourself sitting in front of the lift in the lobby. That is called suspension in ACJC!

Yours truly,
Mr Lynn
11/04/2005

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

2005-10-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

in light of the widespread relationship problems surrounding me, and my boredom as a result of studying, i thought of a super analogy linking footballers and their clubs with relationships.

ok consider 3 footballers, Steven Gerrard, Christian Vieri and Alan Smith.

Gerrard, the die-hard liverpool fan by heart, the world-class midfielder who spent his entire footballing career with the club that he loved, regardless of the erratic performances of the club, as seen from their treble-winning days to their midtable slump in the premiership, and from their historic champions league final victory against AC Milan to their abysmal start to the season following that. The player who was constantly wooed by the likes of Real Madrid but remained at the club where his heart lay, a club where chances of winning trophies and basking in glory were slim. Such was his love for Liverpool, undying, and regardless of the cold fact that his life at the club may not produce the trophies that represent the ideal footballing career.

Vieri, the legendary goal poacher, one of the finest in the trade in Italy. The player who was seen moving from club to club in search of more silverware and new excitements, from Juventus to Athletico Madrid to Lazio to Inter and now AC Milan. He may have spent a respectable 6 seasons in Inter, but his recent move to traditional city rivals AC Milan certainly signals a yearning for the thrill of silverware that supercedes his passion for his club, or at the very least, a desire for excitement at AC Milan which Inter failed to produce in recent years.

Finally, Alan Smith, the passionate hard-tackling striker turned midfielder who gives his 110% in every game that he plays for whatever club he's in, whether it be then-relegation threatened Leeds or underachieving Manchester United. The rare breed of players who will stick by their club through thick and thin until the event in which their club offloads them. Though not in the same breed as Gerrard or Vieri, his commitment to his cause at any club is one that is exceptional, to say the very least.

NOW, look at yourself as a player, and your girl/boyfriend or person that you have something going on with as your club.

So, are you a Gerrard? The one whose love supercedes any rough patch that you may be facing, or any periods in your relationship which may lack excitement. The one who knows that you may not always get what may be perceived to be ideal in a relationship, but still sticks faithfully to it anyway and gives your best, purely out of a fervent love for the other. The one who knows that you will be in high demand by popular names in the event of being single, but still remains loyal and steadfast all the same.

Or are you a Vieri? The one who goes into relationships in pursuit of excitement, or to feel fuzzy and happy all the time. However, when this is not achieved all the time, your interest in the other party fades and you search for other options that'll satisfy your craving. You're basically driven by the thrills of a relationship.

Or the Smith? The one who puts your best into all the relationships you've been in, are in, and will be in. The one who continues loving till the day the other party gets sick of you or figures that it wont work out. The one who may not be the best person around, but whose commitment in any relationship is priceless.

I'm not implying that being a Vieri makes you a toot, but at the end of the day, look at Gerrard clutching the champions league trophy and Smith finishing every match looking weary, but still hungry for more. Thats football and relationships for you man: shit happens, but love, commitment, hunger and desire give you the most satisfaction at the end of the day.

And who says Football isn't life

2005-06-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth
to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face

Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

2005-06-16T03:10:00.000+08:00

I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Then it was gone.
-Jack, Lost

not just fear, it works for anything you wanna let go from your mind, when you close your eyes and let whatever it is engulf you: regret, pain, memories, blahblah. and when you're at 4, tell yourself that it'll be the last time you'll ever be feeling that way again.

but of course, there's always prayer haha

2005-06-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

regret
i dont like it
and i hate what i did to feel it

2005-06-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

fifa street on xbox rocks hahaha

2005-06-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

ad1 at the resort! :)

2005-06-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

me and dona!

2005-06-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

me and kid terror juli, before he was hyper

2005-06-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

my class in ekang anchulai!

2005-06-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

ok i'll just blog as briefly as i can bout my ocip trip to bintan, only cos its worth blogging about..and i'll forget the details if i delay blogging bout it..

day 1 (1/6/05):
we got to our dorms and found out that it would be all 15 guys sleeping side by side on mattresses, and sharing a bathroom with two shower cubicles and two squatting shitholes with no flush..not very welcoming at all haha..had our first facilitation and then made our way to the village in a bus..non aircon too may i add..and in bintan that was not a good idea..haha but ohwell we eventually got used to it..we passed by a guardpost with barbed wires and stuff..signifying a clear divide between the villages and the bintan resorts..one look at the village (called ekang anchulai) and i was like o_O..no roads, sand everywhere, simple houses, to put it simply, the most basic of civilisations. and to think that i thought the dorms were bad enough. we arrived at the school, there were only 3 small classrooms, a small courtyard, and a large area of sand as a play area. oh and a small rubbish dump at the side. the teachers there were DAMN slack, we soon realised that they didnt even know much english either. so our job began, me, meishi, eunice, shar, fiona, seeyun, jolene, jessica, julius and wayne as teachers and the bunch of guys as librarians. seeyun jolene and i were kinda clueless bout what to do with our class at first, cos we were told not to start the actual teaching yet. we had to rely completely on translators and some hand signals here and there to get our message across to the kids. considering we had to come up with impromptu activties for that day we did a pretty good job :) we taught them tic-tac-toe (which soon became a favourite: they beat me on the last day hee), london bridge, twinkle twinkle little star, old mcdonald and some other games like dog and bone. it was really encouraging to see how happy and enthusiastic they were about playing such simple games, cos i guess kids at such an age back in singapore wouldnt have been so enthu (they were arnd 9yrs old btw). maybe its also how we take such games and all for granted back here, like its a norm, but there it was something completely new for the kids. oh and we also found out that these kids had to walk an average of 5-8km to school? it just showed their desire to learn :) so day 1 with the kids was pretty much a success :) we left the village and went for dinner soon after. had some really good seafood by the sea, or lake or whatever, it was too dark to see anything. the first of many good meals to come :D the hockey girls introduced drinking goggles to us (bloop!), the first of many fun games to come during the trip. hahaha..AND when we got back i finally learnt how to play taidee wheeee, the game which became the #1 source of entertainment for the guys during the trip. how much laughter we had while playing every night man, when talking about how the losers were in the shitpit hahahaha ok you had to be part of it to see the humour, how animesh and "sleepy D" deepan would perplex everyone with their throwing-big-cards-like-free antics, and how some people would perpetually be stuck at the bottom 3 places throughout hahaa. it was a good start to the trip, i didnt miss anything back in singapore at all. or maybe i was just too tired to haha.

day 2:
we had a whole day of teaching. took a grade 5 and grade 1 class in the morning and the usual grade 4 class in the afternoon. taught them colours and weather if i remember correctly. i could already single out the more eager learners as well as the smarter ones. oh and some of the kids had cool names too! like fernando and jericho haha. AH YES. the 2nd day marked the emergance of the mini-havok machine, a cute little boy called juli. YES LOOKS ARE VERY DECEIVING. everyone was like aww so cute but he when he unleashed his terror, piang. he would go down on all fours like some primitive being and growl like some idunnowhat. and then pounce on his target mercilessly. yes, he was that vicious. haha i took the rascal on, managed to somewhat subdue him but when the bugger was re-energized he came back with 2 friends, having already devised a crafty war-plan. the end result? one being used as a diversion and when i picked him up another pulled my pants down. CHEEKEN. not all the way down tho, and anyway my tee still covered my uhh..yeah..so in my mind i was like RAHH I PLAY WITH YOU AND YOU DO THIS..but thinking back i guess that was one of the reasons why the kids really liked me in particular by the end of the trip, ok not cos my pants went down, but cos i actually played with them in their way. thats the way with all kids i guess, just do what they do and you'll get along perfectly well with them :) yes that kinda summed up the 2nd day at the village. okay back at the dorm, we started playing hand tennis in the facilitation room when lynn n the other teachers (ng xy, marhaini n ms toh) went off to buy us snacks, speaking of which, i think i must have eaten the most ritz+lemon biscuits+raisins+chips during the trip. haha anw waimay and i were a super unbeatable team and were owning everyone at hand tennis doubles, UNTIL i made a heroic dive and smashed my head on a powerpoint on the wall. the thing must have been made of damncheap material man (either that or i have a strong head), cos the casing was shattered. and i had a big balakoo on my head blahh..for the record none of the teachers confronted me although i heard that someone told on me muahaha. true havok sia, wreckage without punishment :) later that evening we went to pasar oleh oleh, the local shopping village. oh oh it was there that animesh came up with what was one of the jokes of the trip. ok we saw this dickhead keychain in one of the stores (as in LITERALLY a dickhead shaped keychain). that was already funny enough. then i showed it to meishi and she was like "uhh maybe its just seashells!" and animesh responded with "more like COCKles" hahahhahaha shit..congrats to ani btw for making me laugh the most during the trip :) we played more daidee when we got back, and that summed up another great day :)

day 3:
ok teaching-wise it was pretty much the same. we taught the kids movement and taught them how to play "Zach says" hahaha :) OH and i think i must have taught them really well, cos on the last day when waimay, denise n debra joined in, hahahah ok lets just say the kids were more attentive to my call eh :p the kids were really responsive! especially those like eddy, nanta and anwar in the 5th grade and dona and mirza from the 4th grade. they would be really attentive and eager to copy down whatever we taught them. :) super day! oh and i didnt get attacked! wow! mainly cos juli was suddenly in an antisocial, stoned mood. and he stayed that way for the rest of our time there :( by then i started to notice a look in the childrens' eyes. it was like, a look that simply oozed desire to learn more, as well as a kind of compassionate look that said "thank you for being here" :) it was really heart warming man, from a teacher's point of view :') so back to the dorm. haha i got into a real big quarrel with marhaini in front of everyone cos she shouted at us guys for being late and i sorta, talked back hehe :p ok i guess it was unnecessary anw. but as we were walking to our dinner venue and we were all kinda pissed, animesh suddenly went "oh shit i had no time to dry my hair" hahahahha that was like how out of point at that time and all of us just couldnt stop laughing, especially considering how animesh was the only guy who brought a hairdryer along for the trip, even the girls didnt! oooh but then came one of THE nights of the trip. the night mangrove tour. wahhh. sitting in the boat, enjoying the breeze which so lacked in the day, getting close to the fireflies, gazing at the magnificient starry sky, and basically submerging ourselves in the peace of nature :) picture it now..even if you werent there you can tell that it was just surreal. our one hour ride was seriously not enough man. and when the guys got off our boat, we looked around at each other and were like "shit this is the wrong company to be with man" hahaha but how true that was. sigh. i want it again nowwww. OH and meishi claimed the title of indo hotstuff hahahaha. her boatman was apparantly in love with her hehehehhehe "i want to give this flower to MEISHEEE" HAHAHAHA :) so the day ended happy again. thank god for stars :)

day 4:
taught in the morning only, introduced the 5th graders to greetings, everything went well, more or less, played tic tac toe and zach says again hahaha..oh and before we left the 4th graders that we usually taught in the afternoon saw us, and some intentionally pulled a long face to show their disappointment. seriously man, it looked as if they came to school just to see us. :') we went for a fishing tour after that. had to wait for the rain to subside and during that time, jolene eunice and SLEEPY D were forced to participate in a local dance :D deepan dancing=hahahahahha but full marks for enthusiasm :) the fishing trip was pretty interesting. the ad1 girls' boatman was threatening to capsize their boat throughout :p i caught a cute baby crab on a small island! but after much persuasion i was compelled to let it go "zach you'll kill it if you bring it back blahalbllahlah..hmph" hahaha oh and when we were walking in the water we stepped in this mossy area and really it looked and possibly felt like shit hahaha :p a true shit pit man. deepan was forced to release his hermit crab too. oh and quote of the day by bong: "making animesh wear tight underwear is like putting deepans hermit crab in a matchbox" HAHAHAHAHA. oh and another from animesh which went:

(animesh comes out of toilet after shitting)
peter: ani you touched my stuff, did you wash your hands after shitting?
animesh: where?

hahahaha true blue king of the shitpit :p

we had a SUPER BBQ dinner that night, wah i miss the bbq squid, and my tummy was getting really big by then hehe. we went back to pasar oleh oleh and lo and behold! we found an AIRCONDITIONED room! superrr. we stayed there and played mafia, another favourite game during the trip, as well as another game that deepan EXCELLED in :p so that ended another great day, oh and animesh and i became trendsetters by buying a BINTAN BEER tshirt wahhhh..booze brudders eh :p

day 5:
to me, one of the most meaningless days. miss ng prepared worship in the morning tho, it being a sunday, that was really nice :) we then set off on a one half hour ride for whatever the name of the capital of bintan is, i forgot :P we played lan at the first shopping centre, and the arcade at the 2nd shopping centre. honestly i think most of us just wanted to go back to the village. joke of the day was over lunch (nice seafood again!) and once again from animesh: "eh you know ben always wanks at me when he sees me..oh shit i meant winks" HAHAHAHAHAHAA i know you must be thinking im mad for remembering all these jokes but seriously man, at that time these were just priceless moments :P OH and another episode from meishi's hotstuff life took place at the fast food restaurant. hehehhe im sworn to secrecy, but PEACE AND LOVE EH MEISHI :P oh and that night, a group of us went outside our dorms after playing daidee :) and talked for quite awhile, pretty cool :) ah yes and the roshan in motion was identified :p so we went to sleep, knowing that the next day would be our last day teaching the kids :(

day 6:
we found out really late that we couldnt teach that morning cos of i forgotwhatreason. oh cos it was a school hol or something. the kids still came back for lessons tho, really touching :) the morning was spent painting the community hall of the village, pretty tough work but it was worth seeing the end product :) all of us had paint sploshed all over us by the end of it. we didnt teach anything during our final lesson with the kids, we just gave out sweets, took lots of pics and played their favourite games :) zach says again, as well as tictactoe. we also gave out pens to them, and they were really really happy when they found out that they were gifts. small things make a damn big difference yes :) it made me feel kind of regretful that i didnt bring more stuff from singapore. we also set up a mini garden in the village, mdm marhaini helped out, pretty touching to see that :) so we left knowing that it was the last time we'd be interacting with the kids, cos our purpose there the next day would just be for the opening of the library.

ok now here's a pause from the account of what happened. a question: what made this trip so meaningful? well i guess one of the main things is seeing the joy that you put in someone else's life :) sometimes back in singapore you do alot of stuff for people but you dont really see the effect it has on them, you might not even get a thank you, so you kinda overlook your worth at times. the diff in bintan? simple things like the kids remembering your name and shouting it out when they see you from afar, their excitement or shyness when they see you, the sheepish grins that they give when you teach them individually, the way some of the girls would put your hand to their nose as a sign of affection, the sad faces that they pull when you leave at the end of the day, the way they just cling to you and wanna be around you, even the way they fight and play with you as if you're an equal, and their desire to learn when you teach. you need to see it for yourself to feel the love :) its then that you know that you've made a real big impact in someones life, and that your unselfish heart of servanthood and self sacrifice has reaped its rewards :)

day 7:
so it finally came to a close, we went to the village for the opening ceremony of the library. GREAT JOB to the guys who made it possible, and andrea of course. arhhh laddies good job there ;) the small room was just transformed into a cozy learning facility..power :) shen quan made a cool speech during the ceremony that made lynn tear hehhehe, but he had every reason to man, for all the effort he put into planning everything to perfection, and i mean nothing short of perfection. he was the one that made it possible for us to change the lives of others and at the same time see a different side of ourselves. he taught us undying care and concern, from how he ensured that deepan n jessica got sufficient medical attention, to how he would make sure we'd get the best of everything, whether it be food or rest. no one could take his place on the trip man, seriously, no one. so heres a big thank you :) the final day of our trip would be spent in style, we stayed at some resort called nirwana if i remember correctly. everything there was super, the pool, beach, food, AIRCON AND BATHTUB, the last night was a super one, played lots of cards, had one heck of a time with the guys, i got high on redbull+sarsi, and had a nice talk by the pool at night :) life of luxury man. a good way to end off everything :)

so yeah that was bintan 4, and so much for my brief summary man this took 3hrs to type :s and now heres thanks to all my teammates, especially those whom i got closer to during the trip, basically all the guys, ad1 girls, waimay, the twins, shivali, seeyun, jolene and audrey. good job everyone :) some kids out there are thinking of us now :) whenever you feel life is meaningless, just think back to what a big difference you made :) and as always, glory to God :)

2005-06-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

i just got reminded of the pensieve from harry potter books..the basin-like object which u can use to store selected memories and then relive them again from a third person view whenever you want to..wahhhh i want one man..beats blogging any day..ok this just looks like im reiterating the fact that im sick of blogging hahaha

2005-06-10T17:53:00.000+08:00

ive become too lazy to blog anymore hahahaha

2005-05-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

whoa its been a while since i've blogged hasnt it..haha so much to talk about..but i shall only concentrate on talking about the most important event of the week..STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH WHOOOO..ok if you havent caught it yet just leave this page ok..dont spoil your fun hahaa..

caught it with chris+vick+faith last night..THANK YOU AGAIN VICTORIA WOON hahaha..for the nice buffet dinner and the free popcorn and drink (oh and the cute yoda lego keychain too!)..but all these paled in comparison to STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH WHOOOOO..from like the start of the movie i was already going whoooo..superb space battle scene omg..the dramatic fall of the jedi when the clone army turned against them omgomg..5 lightsaber battles omgomgomg..yoda being so cool and yet so cute when scampering through tunnels hahaa..R2-D2 being so cool and taking on two droids and burning their butts hahaha..the stupid droid leader of the droid army that could cough hahaha..oooh the cool chase scene when obiwan was riding the funny creature and chasing droid thingy..emperor palpatine being the ultimate mindgamer and loser when his face gets disfigured with a permanent centre parting at the top hahaha..i realise none of this is in order but who cares man..haha..and then..the focus of the movie..anakin succumbing to the temptations and fears of the darkside..rah..then saving palpatine from being killed rahhh..and then wiping out the jedi and younglings in the jedi academy..RAH..and then killing padme..RAHHHHH..and of course being stupid and getting himself burnt by lava..toot..super show man SUPER..ok much due to my biasness as a star wars freak but WHO CARES..hahaha..I WANNA WATCH AGAIN!! TWICE MORE AT LEAST!!! whoooooo...

2005-05-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

haha ive been wanting to this for a long time but havent really gotten down to doing it..well here it is anyway..my experience with ac soccer..

a tribute to acjc Soccer 2004/05

the beginning of a new koncept of football:

the 2nd week of january last year..40 odd players gathered for trials..13 of us were selected..terence eric me syed jeremy kevin darren adam ian steve esdy lemin and vinod..

since day one of training it was a whole new experience..an upgrade for me to say the least..from the playing everyday in the acsi basketball court to proper training with a coach..football was not only just about having fun anymore..it was about discipline..being serious during every training session..knowing that you were part of the elite soccer players of the school handpicked by the coach..there were standards to be met..heh..discipline was always an issue..i remember how i was punished and publicly humiliated within the first week of training when i was talking to my xcountry friend and missed my turn during traingle drills..coach made me change to my track shoes and run one round with the cross team..heh..and it soon became known that the pe departmant didnt like us..harvy would say "this field belongs to the ruggers dont destroy it"..lawrence ang just seemed to be on the lookout for us all the time..and gurmz..i wont forget the time he made joses do pushups on the field cos we got on the field early..soccer wasnt just a game anymore..it had become a responsibility..an identity..and we had to live up to expectations and standards..

the birth of a new team of havok:

hahhaa this sounds like its going to be one long serious essay doesnt it..well lets take a break from the seriousness..so..back to the 13 of us j1s..we came from different schools..u had nanhua, sji, ghim moh, barker, beatty, jurong, ri and acsi..compared to the rugby team, you'd say that it would be hard for us to achieve unity quickly..considering how the ruggers were playing together since sec 1..but what happened within the space of a month was incredible..every wednesday..before trainings..all of us would gather at the cafe and just slack around, telling jokes and all..hahaha from the lamest jokes like "why cant billy walk..cos billy's a bicycle" to some RATHER witty ones like "why cant billy walk..cos he's too tired(two tyred)" hahahha..esdy syed and jeremy soon established themselves as the clowns of the team..but more importantly, it was the simple act of joking around that brought us together..we established a common understanding..and without realizing it..mutual respect..no one was more superior than the other..we were all just a bunch of jokers :)

the reality of the red, blue and gold:

so as time progressed..the truth settled in that we were all competing for the coveted 20 spots to wear the ac colours and bring glory to the school..every set A, B and C, every circle and triangle drill, every two sided game was a test..a contributing factor to whether your name would be called out or not in march when the final squad would be named..and when i looked at the quality present in the squad..especially the j2s..it realised it was gonna be a tough task indeed..well i gotta thank god..cos when i think back now..to how i wanted to trial as a midfielder initially but ended up being pushed to defence cos there were too many mids at that time..that seemed like a minor change but it ultimately shaped my future with the soccer team..being captain and all..i never played in any other position apart from defence since then..and given the abundant talent in midfield..joses shaohui shaun sandeep and all..i would have had much lesser chances to play during trainings..not that it was easy to get a place in defence..but i soon realised that it was definitely the position for me..

the rock of the team:

and speaking of defence..im gonna miss every moment of being a defender..the shiok feeling of rising above everyone to head the ball clear..sliding in for a challenge and seeing your opponent fall while you win the ball..making a last ditch tackle to foil a striker when hes in the clear..and most importantly..commanding the team from the back..thats the best part of being a centre back i tell you..and as coach put it..when you're a defender..you're ultimately the backbone of the team..dang how i miss that..

the debut:

so it wasnt long before i got my first taste of playing for ac..a friendly match against queenstown sec..i still remember that game vividly..how the pitch was super waterlogged and had all sorts of creatures like frogs in it..i started as a rightback (and how interesting considering that its my final position this year) and didnt have the most fantastic of games..cleared a ball off the line but had a shaky game in the end..vinod and lemin were the other j1s who played..and terence too who came on as a sub and made a super save..it ended 0-0..and i didnt get to complete my debut after being taken off in the 2nd half..it wasnt exactly a morale boosting start for me..i sorta realized that i had a long way to go if i wanted to make the team..

the first family vacation:

haha i'd wanna talk about everything in detail but that'd be nuts..fast forward a little to the march hols and the singapore orchid country club (socc) training camp..prior to that we had a handful of friendlies against older opposition and were uniting very well as a team..but the socc camp further strengthened the bonds..haha all the havok that we caused..playing pool..me syed and esdy going to the golf course to take photos one night..toothpaste galore on the last night..eating fried rice for dinner every night..and once again..coming up with jokes aplenty..this time even the j2s got involved.."which soccer player processes info the slowest..lilian thuram (two RAM)" "who killed bane..kevin kilbane" and the ultimate one from esdy.."who let the dogs out? didi hamann cos it sounds like baha men" yes esdy..i can never forget that one..but once again..it was proof that laughter and jokes never fail to bring about unity :) and the moment i'll remember..coach saying after one of the meetings.."i wanna see the 4 captains..and zach and lemin" and soon i found out that lemin and i were more or less gonna be 2 of the future captains..man i dunno how happy i was then..yet it also meant that i had more expectations to live up to..and then that night we all got our nice asics jerseys! my very first school soccer jersey :) #34..and on the 2nd last night of the camp we played against a police team..i came on as a sub and set up our goal..the match was taped..and i still remember the exhilaration of watchin myself playing soccer on tv for the first time :) the final day came..we took pics and dragged our luggage out of socc..i gave it some thought and realised that there was no other team i'd rather be with :)

the broken fellowship:

then came the period of uncertainty..well it already began before the camp..the release of the o level results..vinod and i knew we had to appeal if we wanted to stay in ac..i did..but he didnt..he started training with the jj team and didnt join us at socc..then came the release of the posting results..i was posted to jj..and to tell the truth..even with all the reassurance from mr how and pat sum..i was still freaked out for the two days in jj..and the one thing that i remember telling myself.."if i dont make it back to ac..i wont join the soccer team here" that simply bore testimony to how much i was attached to ac soccer..oh and it wasnt only me and vinod..esdy got posted to nyjc and was trying to get back in as well..chances seemed real slim then..

return of the jedi:

hahahaha i just had to type that..star wars in a week whooo..ok back to soccer..yes..ac soccer > starwars..ownage..haha..so my appeal was successful..and thank god for that :) and mr how and mr sum and ahem gurmit..so the journey continued :) so we lost esdy and vinod..two players whom i daresay would have easily been in the final 20 this year..but with their loss came the arrival of players who would soon become indispensible members of the team..edwin murali enghao james hwa adrian dhinesh adha..those were the ones who started training with us when the term started..and there were still many more to come :)

the chosen ones, the war:

the final 20 was selected..tim shenling terence mark nick naidu andy majun nas me joses shaohui shaun sandeep yuanzhang adam lemin james xiayue jiaming..i'll summarize the tournament..beat hc 1-0, cj 2-0 and drew with mj 0-0 in the first round, lost to yj 1-3, sa 0-1 in a game that we should come out of with at least a point, but we went out with a bang with a 3-2 win in our last match against MI..i came on for 30mins and had a rather memorable competitive debut :) nevertheless..2 rounds of football was still disappointing for our standards..and it was then that wee-little-j1-me realised that we would no longer be having the j2s training and playing for us..from that moment onwards..responsibility of the team was fully upon the shoulders of us then-j1s..and it seemed a daunting task..i looked at the j2s and then at our year..and realized the gulf in talent and quality..we were good no doubt bout that..and had improved tremendously but yeah it was like being thrown into a new world suddenly and having to build everything from scratch..so it was the dawn of a new beginning that day at sa.....

a new hope:

STAR WARS YET AGAIN..hahahaa..but that truly encapsulates what we had in the new members of the squad that had just joined..animesh ian (making his return) zouli chong-u darryl brendan dimas nap..once again..unity had to be fostered..and i knew i had the responsibility of ensuring that..murali and majun were soon named as the other two captains..captain havok and captain gung respectively :) and when i led the new team in doing the samba for the first time..i felt an overwhelming sense of pride and belonging..wahh..and i'll miss doing the samba..seriously..training was the norm..we started focussing on individual areas like passing..but it could get pretty boring and draggy..esp without the hype of matches..all of us couldnt wait till the toopid promos were over..but the bonds were being strengthened..between new and old..

the badge, the armband:

so i was named captain..during a quick meeting at the bleachers during recess one day..and lemin was the official vicecap..i didnt get my badge till after ccaab of course..and my armband till this year..but the weight of the team was on my shoulders all the same since the end of the season last year..for me it meant alot of things..from the superficial like smsing them (at least 100 a month durin the hols) and leading warmups, to the emotional, like having heart to heart talks whether about footie or life, and the spiritual: keeping the team in constant prayer and leading them in intercession before every game..and of course..on the pitch..being the voice of the team and the encourager..and i want to say this now..the only reason why im proud of wearing the captain's badge and the armband is: the team that i serve :) if you guys werent who you were..i'd just leave the badge at home everyday or pawn it to some coolgang person who'd wear it to look good..seriously..its you guys who make me look good when i wear that badge :)

happy hols:

so our december holidays were basically soccer soccer soccer..friendly matches fortnightly..and trainings 3 times a week..we were really gelling as a collective whole and you could see the mass improvement that everyone had gone through..super encouraging..then came mid december when the post o level guys came down to trial for 2005..some that would eventually join us..like hiren shen charles amos asri joseph anthony yongkai short-benja bobby arvin and maybe a couple more..and ebi too of course..they integrated well into the team..and at the end of the year i was feeling really really confident :)

the test:

you've noticed how much i've been emphasising the importance of unity within the team..well..at the start of the new year that unity revealed itself in a very emotional encounter..coach suddenly announced that he would be holding a session of trials and he would be selecting 30 players from both the current batch and the trialists, and that he'd be selecting the final squad of 20 from these 30..so thats what he did..he cut like 10 j2s? and replaced them with j1s who 1. only went thru one session of trials 2. couldnt even do the basic drills properly..well what followed that was a mass flurry of mixed emotions..after coach left..there was swearing..tears..anger..bewilderment..and what i saw before me was a team in dire straits...it was like..everything that we had worked so hard to achieve was just disappearing..going poof..i mean..how could anyone have hope in playing and all after such a thing happened..then something cool happened..some of us sat down..to console one of the j2s whom coach rejected..and i started praying and everyone just started crying..god's love was clearly linking all of us then :) that was the best indication of unity u could get..and thank god i managed to settle the team issue with mr how and coach the next day and the team was eventually restored to its happy state :) unity at its best man..havok

whoa so many memories and i havent even started on my kl trip yet hahaa..i'll stop here for now cos some important people need sleep :p part two coming to a theatre near you!

LIKE STAR WARS WHOOOOOO!

2005-05-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

in memory of leon

2005-05-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

the only low point of today..and a very low point too..was the announcement of leon's death..indeed i'll always remember him for being a big guy with a big heart and a big smile..only knew him by face till ccaab..and it was then that i found out what a great guy he was..always willing to offer help..always encouraging..president of the first aid society..he showed a spirit of perseverance during the camp..never giving up during tough trying situations..he had the qualities worthy of a great leader..and he'll be missed by acjc..

2005-05-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

HAPPY DAY!

im happy for the hockey girls :) who went out with a bang today :) 3-0 vs tpjc..everyone played super well in my opinion..haha firstly to star striker #11 xueying, WELL DONE :) u deserved no less than that goal for your great performances since the first match, and for all that you've put into hockey and the team..im proud of u :) sweet goal it was too..and with a few minutes left on the clock too..and next to #13 rachel yap..two goal hero whoo! must have got the killer instinct from darius ehh hahaha..#8 nartz #17 waimay #18 vic, the midfield stronghold thats been superb throughout the tournament..whether it be making your opponents smell your tracks or just shutting them out..havok..(i just realised i havent used that word for a long time) hahaha..and really well done to everyone in the team..u girls marmaladed :)

2nd reason to be happy today..THANK YOU TO VICTORIA WOON FOR BEING STRONG IN THE FORCE AND CAPABLE OF GETTING PREMIER TIX FOR REVENGE OF THE SITH..AND INVITING ME ALONG WHOO..shiok shiok shiok cant wait..each trailer i watch is just hyping me up more..lightsaber duels aplenty whooo...

ive got ns checkup at 10 in the morning..blahh..comtemplating if i should sleep now or watch the man u chelsea match..hmm..

chances are i'll see you somewhere in my dreams tonight

2005-05-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

happy mummys day! :)

i miraculously managed to drag myself out of bed this morning..weather was so good for sleeping..haha..got to church pretty early..everyone was to dress in ethnic costumes today for iforgotwhatreason..oh promoting missions i think..hahaha and there was this booth promoting jap culture with this boy whose face was painted white..reminded me of 1. the no life statue wannabe guy whos at the lido underpass 2. ju-on hahaha..ok im pretty mean..

anyway..caught house of wax with mike+jon..it was pretty good..and gory..heh but better than those substandard hollywood horror flicks like boogeyman any day..paris hilton was hot! till she got speared through the head by the psycho waxman..hahaha..the cinema replica part was pretty freaky..cos when i happened to look arnd the cinema, mike jon n i seemed like the only living people haha..anyway..back to the gore! this girl's finger got cut off by a plier..n a guy got his flesh ripped off his face when he was a wax figure..eee..but yeah i give it a 3.5/5 haha..cant wait for star wars man..i have half the mind to pon skool on the opening day hehe..

went home after that and planted my mother's day gift on the table before going out again to meet my family..haha i spent the whole day appearing ignorant about the fact that it was mothers day to fool my mum into thinking that i was an insensitive spoilt ungrateful toot..haha paid off well..she was pretty happy when she saw my present and let me use the com immediately hahaha :)

haha oh i suddenly remembered somethin that vick said ytd.."eh some people have asked me "how come zach and chris are like total opposites and yet they're still best friends" hahaha well i guess its all about mutual respect (haha i predict that if chris sees this he'll be thinking of saying :" NO ONE CARES ABOUT U LA SHIT", but then he'll realize that if he types that on my tagboard it would show that i understand him alot and that'll look gay) hahahaha in the end it just goes to show that u dont need to have the same kind of personality of whatevernot to have a close relationship with someone..all you need is some willingness and mutual trust..oh and i remember this saying about how two totally different people benefit alot from their relationship with each other cos they can learn alot more from each other..haha so anw thank you christopher chong ee ming for simply being irreplacable..aww..haha ok off to do e1 hopefully

in the end..you're the only one i want..

2005-05-07T18:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a pretty fun day for a school day..mainly cos there was little lessons involved..haha..we were excused at 1230 to go watch the squash finals..and being the oh so very responsible asst class rep i am..i managed to get everyone to go..just look at the attendance list! hahahaha..yes..stayed only to watch the first part of it tho..when we were in the lead..left to rush down to ccab with eunice to watch the girls hockey match against jj..thx to mr mark lee for letting me off hahaha..

me: sir can my friend n i go and watch the hockey girls instead
mark lee: whyyy
me: uhh..i like hockey
m.l.:riiiight..u going to see who
me: uhhh
m.l.:aiya i know who la
me: oh isit!
m.l.:yes yes go la go la

i see! very uhh understanding of him haha..but i would have escaped nonetheless anw :p lawrence ang was busy running arnd catching ponners and when he was chasing this grp of pple eunice and i ran in the other direction and poof a cab appeared for us..haha we just didnt wanna waste time explaining to ang tho we had a clear conscience :p so anyway..we got to ccab a little late..both sides were playing really well..jj still had a slim chance of making it thru..our girls still played with fire and passion so it was a very close game..tho ac had the better of the chances..the goal finally came in the 2nd half when nartz converted a penalty..it was really great watching them celebrate :) they hung on to the slim lead..and were no less than ecstatic when the final whistle was blown..congrats to the girls :) you all deserved no less :)

went for cell after that..really good time of fellowship :) cell alone makes fridays great :) went to slack at hawns place and ended up falling asleep by the pool till 12 and my mum gave me a bad scolding hahaha..and shes gonna screw me up if she comes home now and sees me on the com so i should go off now BYE

2005-05-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

and finally i can say this..you're not worth a thought about anymore

2005-05-05T21:10:00.000+08:00

1-0 is officially my most hated scoreline.

went to watch the girls hockey team play ytd against pj..do or die match for them..sounded pretty familiar..the first half seemed pretty close fought..end to end action..then pj got a short corner..and well..scored..ac fought back immediately..and scored too from a short corner but screw the rules bout not being able to score high shots from short corners..esp when it was a damn good finish..rahh so they went into the 2nd half a goal down..another familiar scenario yet again..credit to the girls..they totally dominated the 2nd half..so much that pj got nowhere close to their goal..you could tell who was hungrier for the win..the pj goal was just being pelted with shots..but the goal never came..just like how we never celebrated the equaliser against hwa chong..and the feeling of watching it from the stands..that really sucks..and just watching them leave, dejected..damn i knew how that felt like..

and now im reminded of how we had our last team talk..how i made the last prayer and started crying..and how i felt shortchanged..yes thats the word..and the feeling of a premature ending..honestly..its something you'll only understand when you feel it..like you've let everyone down..

but whenever u feel that way..and heres to the hockey girls..look at the results of the hard work all of you put in: a whole team crying together..unity..something that beats silverware any day.. and a team giving their all on the pitch for each other and for god's glory..passion..that feels better than celebrating a win..and the memories..dont put them aside..for both the hockey and soccer team..all the trainings..the overseas tour..the jokes..everything..it was worth every bit of sweat put in..and just look at the team's improvement since day 1..thats something worth being proud about knowing that you were part of it..dont try and erase those memories..whenever u see a ball..or your jersey..just think back..and smile..cos god was so good to let you be part of it :)

2005-04-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY DAY! hahaha i couldnt think of any other way to start this post..we won the MI 7s tournament whooo..that kinda ended our season on a high i guess :) we were up against teams from mi and ite, basically a whole lot of skilful mats la..hahaha..and WE WON..whooo..and better still..it was an all ac final..the j1 team took on our strongest team..buggers la beat us in the first round..but good job anyway :) the future looks promising..hopefully coach'll just open his eyes and notice pple like shoshi and reuben..hahaha..

but anyway back to the tournament yes..we (team 1) drew our first game 0-0..stupid ref came up with a no-going-into-penalty-area rule..when the other match was going on without that rule..haha..our 2nd game was against the j1 team..and credit to them..they put their hearts into the game and deservedly won..hahaha that was a wakeup call for us..anything less than a win in the last game and we'd be out..we were up against the toughest team of the grp..the mi soccer team of last year i think..we almost got into several fights! the eediots were playing really dirty..and murali isthiqlal n majun could've exploded any time if they wanted to..but they showed some great uncharacteristic-of-team-havok self control and resisted pulling a punch or two..yay! anyway it was a hard game..and isthiqlal scored a great goal from a tight angle (and at that point our first goal) to rightfully win and qualify for the semis :)

so..the semi match..it came down to a penalty shootout after lemin equalised..another great team goal..sam was the hero..converting his kick and making a crucial superb save at full stretch...woot..save hands for next year..and on the other pitch..the j1s were celebrating their 1-0 victory..so the stage was set for an all ac finale :)

we finally played to our best i would say..the j1s too..so it was a really close match..reuben attempted a cheeky backheel that would have caused us to shit in our pants if it went in ahhaa..but we pressed on..and THEN..THE goal came..

isthiqlal got the ball on the right. he played it back to me. i squared it for murali and he played the one-two with a sweet backheel. i took a touch..cut in between two players and took a shot from outside the area and GOAL. helped with a little touch off shen hehe. but GOAL anyway! hahaha and soon the whistle blew and it was over :)

yayyy so we got some silverware in the end..nowhere near the a div but a symbol of our hard work anyways :) glory to god :)

2005-04-29T00:18:00.000+08:00

2005-04-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

hahaha WHOO i got a nice medal during track meet..bronze for 1500m..hahaha to think that i was actually considering ponning the meet altogether to play meaningless dota :p and and when i went to report i found out that the runners had already assembled at the start line..they just gave me a random number tag..haha..so my warmup was just my jog over hahaha..my leg and arm muscles were dying on me after the 2nd round man..managed to catch up with the 3rd guy with 300m left..phew..thanks to the drum banging team havok for the support haha..

anywayyy..today was pretty boring..the only exciting part was reading "the things they carried" when i got back haha..damn good book..oh..and constantine's out of american idol what the heck.. that fatty scott had better be next..haha cant think of anything else to type la shows what a sian mood im in now..

oh and i need new free period buddies..hahahaha..

2005-04-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

the heroes

2005-04-27T02:31:00.000+08:00

throw in against sa

2005-04-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

against sa

2005-04-27T00:58:00.000+08:00

ah im back..been too lazy to blog these few days..i guess i should carry on with the last match of our season eh..

so it was just less than a week ago..that our dream ended..i guess there was already an air of uncertainty during the training session the day before..no usual vibe, an ominous sign in some ways..it was pretty obvious who coach was gonna start with, and that edwin, me, majun, lemin, dhinesh, enghao and ian wouldnt keep our places in the lineup..i knew i didnt play to my best against sa..but honestly i didnt expect to be dropped..coach ended off by saying "this could be our last training session" heh..very accurate eh..

so we went to sa for the game..and all hopes that i had about a last minute change and my inclusion in the team were basically shattered during the warmup when the starting 11 were clearly split from the rest of the team..so i ended up on the bench..alongside a disgruntled bunch..the first half was pretty bad..we never really got down to playing our usual game..and every little chance we had was pretty much wasted..and then we conceded..i didnt know what to think at that time..we needed 2 goals..and we clearly werent creating any chances to earn that.. so we went into half time a goal down..coach didnt speak to us..and then chong u rose to the occassion and jolted some life back into the team..it was really inspiring..and terence too..what a moment..it was like the leaders within them were unleashed..well i guess it was also out of sheer exasperation and desperation to do anything to get the goals..so we went into the second half..as time passed..and substitutions were used up..the feeling dawned upon me..my season was coming to an end..the hope that i had, that i could redeem myself after the sa game, just went poof..and as i looked beside me i realised that i wasnt one to complain..as we reached the end terence and i just took off our boots and walked to the stands..and didnt bother going back on the pitch after the end of the match..there were tears..one last prayer and cheer and that was it..end of season..

so thats how it ended..real anticlimax if anything..the tears i shed were for our elimination..not for our loss..cos i seriously dont see any thing to cry about that match..whether it was us or coach who screwed up..i dont wanna think bout it anymore..all the hard work, all the bonds made..yes..those i treasure..and they supercede the feeling of loss..but the elimination just goes to show..sometimes life just isnt fair.. and that in football..its the results that matter most..

but above all, god has been good..and will always be..sure..we're out..and its like a big part of my life being removed..but i know he has a greater plan for all of us in the team..whether it be to spend more time on studies or for some, girlfriends heh i dont know..but before embracing that plan he has for us..we have to come to terms with the loss we suffered..

how true that is in life..the hardest thing to do is always to cope with loss..especially when you're the victim of decisions not made by you..its not just in football..look at relationships..when one calls for a breakup, that person is the one who carries on with life happily, while the other feels the loss and pain when reminded of the joy that they once shared..and it sucks seriously..when you've experienced both sides of it..you feel the pain and realise what an ass you were to make someone feel like that last time..

you had my shoulder to cry on,
my arms around you,
my hand to wipe away your tears,
and my love to comfort you still.

but where were you when i wept?

and then thats where god steps in..its these times when man fails you and you dont feel like you can get over the loss and pain, god gives you the option to forgive, and be rid of the burden and hurt that you're carrying..matt 11:25-30..which goes along the lines that his yoke is a lighter one and he wants to trade it for our heavy load..i've learnt a lesson this year..all the bitterness and resentment one feels after a loss can be justified..but ultimately..nothing will ever change unless you release everything completely to the one who's constant in his love for you.

thank you for the cross.

2005-04-22T13:41:00.000+08:00

ive been too tired to blog for the past few days so i shall talk bout my week now..lets start with monday..the game against sa:

i was damn hyped from the moment i woke up..even more so after watching the waterpolo presentation and chapel..couldnt concentrate during lessons after that..only had the game on my mind..and then it started pouring just as we got dismissed..and i got word that the sa pitch was waterlogged..we thought that the game might be cancelled..but it wasnt to be..anw..our spirits were still on a high..we had a banana skin war at the void deck..it was really cool..we werent to any extent a wreck of nerves..rested in the lt for awhile..then nas and is gave us a pre match briefing..isthiqlals analogy of the battle for singapore was pretty apt..we had conquered the north where innova was..todays battle was for the south..

"close them down once they get the ball..pressure them and if they get past you, bring them down" the words that somehow didnt stick in my head.

we got to sa and saw the horrible pitch..our fields much better u know..seriously..no offence..not that i care anw haha..we warmed up..the team was announced and i wore my armband..by then the bulk of our supporters led by the councillors had arrived..the atmosphere was just overwhelming..the sa crowd that lined one flank..and the ac faithful that dominated the other..honestly..i dont think that we were the least bit intimidated as we went into the game and at any point during the game itself..seeing the lone ac flag flying and the voices of our crowd dispelled any form of fear..so..the usual customaries..shake hand, flip coin, and game on....

it was one heck of a messy game..much due to the pitch..the first half was all about both sides shutting out each others attack..tackles flew at every part of the pitch..for me, i think i was overhyped..i flew in at every oppourtunity and should have gotten booked..i didnt apply anything that nas and is had drilled into us b4 the game..murali and syed had already picked up bookings by the end of the half..and then..the chance of a lifetime that i spurned....we won a corner..i decided to go up for it for the first time in a long time..i stationed myself in the middle of the box..the corner was swung in..my marker left me to challenge for the ball..and it was somehow flicked nicely to me..then came the unthinkable..from 6 yards out..i headed the ball over the bar..%#!@.. seriously it was just rahhhhhh..and i already knew then that it would be one of the costliest misses in the long sad history of costly misses..we were blasted at half time..by which were already covered with mud and sa filth..we went back in..and the game carried on with the ferocity that it had left off..no mercy with the tackles from either side..we played better i reckon..but never created any real oppourtunities..to be honest..sa werent much better..every ball that they played down the centre was met by chong, syed or majun with conviction and authority..the game looked to be headed towards a draw..

and then..it happened..

sa earned a throw on the left..one of them got to the byline and managed to squeeze a cross in..and their striker headed home..it wasnt anyones error..but ultimately the whole team was made to pay for it..from then we were just chasing the game and sa was content to pump the balls up front..we brought on subs..adam steve ian and kai..but nothing could be done to salvage the situation..we were fighting a losing battle..but for that matter..we fought bloody hard and pushed them to the death..

the whistle was blown..the sa crowd roared..and we could only sink to the ground..i didnt even have the mood to lead a cheer for them..it was just the terrible feeling of knowing that u gave ur heart and guts but it still fell short of the standard that we had to meet..we did stop sa from playing their usual game, thats for sure..but in the end..one goal meant three points down the drain..reflecting back..we didnt play our usual game either..but the effort the team put in on a whole was really insurpassable..for that alone i was proud..

right now, when i think back to the game..certain glorious images come to my mind..lifeng and the councillors shouting their hearts out, as well as the rest of the ac gang who came out of their passion for the red blue and gold..majun rising up to head clear the high balls..chong u outmuscling and outrunning the sa players who were huge..murali flying in for a tackle, getting up and flying in again, enghao running at the defence and showing that size doesnt matter..me going in for a 50-50 challenge with the sa captain and coming out tops..and of course..the other images still haunt me..that miss..that goal..my mistakes during the game..the tears..picking each other up after the game..

this is everything that football is about..the passion that makes u proud of being part of the team that ur in..the drive that makes you give ur all on the field..the tears that drive u in the future so that u never have to feel the same sorrow again..

as the supporters put it: "on that day on sa soil..i was proud to be an acsian"

hell yeah.

2005-04-18T09:46:00.001+08:00

OHO I CAN PUT UP PICS HERE

2005-04-18T05:57:00.000+08:00

just got back from church..daaaamn tired..and its so hot..i tell u, i bet god makes sundays really hot so everyone'll just go home and sleep..hence satisfying the day of rest hahaha..anyway..church was good..stevie talked bout the importance of fellowship..its very true..a life without meaningful fellowships'd just suck..with fellowship, your problems are halved and your joy is doubled :) well anyway..i went to queensway with mike after that..talked bout alot of stuff on the way..and got reminded how mikes one of the few people who's been there with me thru all of the most screwed up times of my life..and gives greatgreat advice..heres to fatty yong hahaha..

a little more than 2 hours to the biggest match of my life..i cant imagine losing in front of the sa crowd..seriously..and im already picturing how it'll be like celebrating victory in front of them..whooo..die sa die sa die sa..if by some chance i score im gonna run the length of the field past their supporters with my finger on my lips..rahhhh..the dream ended at sa last year..not again this time..

time to unleash the power of the limegreen armband rahhhh

2005-04-17T18:48:00.000+08:00

whooo

2005-04-17T18:39:00.000+08:00

with god on our side whom shall we fear :)

2005-04-15T14:53:00.000+08:00

ACJC 2-0 INNOVA

woohooo our first match, and three points in the bag..it wasnt an easy match, so thank god we won it :)

im just gonna talk bout the match briefly cos i wanna sleep..we started with samuel, me, syed, chong-u, edwin, enghao, adam, murali, majun, lemin and dhinesh..hiren, ian and rens were out blahh..dhinesh opened the scoring in the first half with a composed chip, and doubled his tally soon after with a shot from a tight angle..we controlled the game for the bulk of the time..but really should have scored more..murali blasted his penalty onto the crossbar hahaa..i played an average game..first half was really quite bad..miscommunication with sam almost led to him getting injured and a goal..blahh..and my ball control sucked..thank god 2nd half was a little better..nade a number of good tackles..and injured the innova captain..felt quite bad heh..i've gotta up my game against sa nonetheless..watched sa play hwa chong..both sides were pretty good to be honest..sa attacked non stop but hwa chong held on and only limited them to an early goal..so its two tricky matches for us coming up..rawr.. OH and THANK YOU TO DIMAS FOR TAKING WONDERFUL PICS OF THE MATCH!! with you around we dont need mark ng hahaha

oh and i forgot to say this ytd..well done christopher chong ee ming and the whole cross team..really chrispy..the way u've improved since sec 4's just inspirational..so no matter what position u finished...you're still a winner :) oh and screw the rj guy who supposedly elbowed eeghim..

off to bed now..yawn

what happens next, dare you to move

2005-04-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

to me, you are perfect.

the things we did,
hand in hand.
the words that meant nothing,
in the end.
the smiles, the winks,
that twenty plus number.
the love, the trust,
where to? i wonder.
the hope, the dreams,
i counted on.
the voice in my head that says
"all gone".
i look at you now,
and what do i see?
a shadow of the figure,
that captivated me.

to me, you were perfect

goal:gold

2005-04-14T11:08:00.000+08:00

whoo com's finally repaired..stupid thing's been screwed up for idunnohowlong..as josh would say..acer sucks..haha..as im typing this, it's less than 24 hrs till our first match against innova wooohoo..

i saw ben shepherd on the train this morning hahaha the reason for my failure in physics in acsi :p and it hit me again how much he looks like prince..omg..brit teachers in singapore are stereotypes i tell u..cos
1.no matter how long they've been in singapore, they're still not used to the weather and sweat alot
2.they look the same, well, for shepherd and prince at least
3.they have indian wives (!!!!)
4.they cannot pronounce chinese names (meisheee)
5.they cannot remember ANY common names, for prince at least..hahaha he calls girls suzy and guys idunnowhat
6.they sound pretty dumb when attempting singlish
7.they think i'm a rascal hahaha

anywayy..school was alright..after that..training..isthiqlal came up with a cool powerpoint presentation..and likened us to professional players hahaha..murali was vieira, chong was hyypia, syed was ferdinand, asri was ronaldo, eng hao was GRAVESEN hahaha and i was gary neville oooh..field training after that was pretty light..set pieces and all..

and so..the journey starts tmr..as coach put it, the stage is set for us to prove our worth. how true..very hyped up i am..sa, innova, hc, just bring it. you're not facing just any team, you're facing a family..and one that's bent on going all the way to the national stadium come May..we've come a long way indeed, and i wouldn't trade the experience even for a million cheese toasts..ok bad analogy..but seriously..its been amazing seeing how god's worked in the team since day 1..how united we are now, the love we have for each other..both on and off the field..the tears we shed, the joy we shared, it had god written all over it..and i'm sure everyone in the team would agree that the bond we have is indeed unique..no cliques, no superstars, to put it simply, everyones equal :) and i think this is gonna translate into silverware next month :) so we're marching into the A div with god by our side, and when he's with us, whom shall we fear :)

and so it begins.

yawn

2005-04-11T12:53:00.000+08:00

my second post whooo..today was a good day..i woke up at 8 (church starts at 9)..haha typical..but i managed to rush there in time..worship and sermon was really good..as always..stevie's message was about living for christ alone, doing everything out of love for him :) we were made for worship! and god's the only one who deserves all our love thats for sure :) had a good time with my cell and a few others after service..and i went to STUDY, omg..thats new, at nus with jon+hawn+bryan+charissa+dave..silence was broken when fatty yong came..no surprise eh..hahaha oh and i heard this damn cute song 'lonely' for the first time..its still stuck in my head whoo..but i accomplished quite abit there..finished an sbq and read some international economy notes..THANK GOD I DONT TAKE ECONS LA WHAT STUPID BUDGET DEFICIT SOLID LIQUID GAS MONEY NONSENSE..hahaha ok fine it wasnt that bad actually :p i went home after that and did nothing but laze around..true blue sunday style :) its a day of rest ok so i dont feel bad haha..

somehow the topic of bgrs keeps popping up everywhere..and today i came to a conclusion..or rather..i got reminded of a conclusion that i made..that getting into one (a bgr) at a time like this, when u dont have enough time to maintain the relationship, and screwing things up resulting in losing a great friendship just isnt worth it..how philosophical of me wahhhh..but a fact nonetheless..

so anyway..life's all about god now..and it will always be..whether it be soccer,school or anythin else..i live to worship you :)

whooo

2005-04-10T15:56:00.000+08:00

hello hello..i made this blog out of PURE BOREDOM and already im getting irritated by searching for skins..for skins..oh look..a nice sick pun..hahaha..ok nvm..i shall start by talking bout my match today..

4-0!! first clean sheet of the year whooo..rens me chong-u syed edwin hiren murali majun ian lemin and asri..4-4-2..we wore our new red kit for the first time haha so it was a good start with our cool new jerseys :) AND i wore my sexy, tight, blood-flow-stopping luminous yellow armband whooo..haha i was damn excited and wore it during warmup, and then coach came and ask me to take it off haha damn mahlu..anywayy..

we started the match pretty strong..and it was what..only 20 mins before asri got the first..great buildup if i remember correctly..calm finish too..1-0..the havok had started :D we kinda faded away after the goal tho..but i almost got involved in a goal! haha the tamileh connection of me n murali almost got us the 2nd..he floated a quick freekick to me when the opponents were forming their wall..i managed to pull it back for asri but the ref disallowed it for idunnowhatreason..hahaa murali n i were already celebrating havok style sheesh..OH the ref was this big burly no nonsense tamileh..pretty intimidating..anyway..lemin missed quite a number of chances..hiren n asri one each..which at that point seemed like it was gonna be really costly..but we still held on..and went into the 2nd half a goal up..

we started pressing right from the restart..but never really created many decent chances till around midway of the half..i almost scored from outside the area with a cross-shot..dang..and then the 2nd goal finally came..whoo..asri made a good cross which lemin missed..edwin picked it up on the left and played a sweet ball back in, and vice-cap liang lemin made no mistake with the second chance..brilliant glancing header whoo..and at a good time too..cos lemin got taken off soon after that..so he redeemed himself yay :) 2-0..and a few minutes later..murali got what i'd vote as goal of the match..a nice floated shot from the left which bounced off the crossbar TWICE before going in..sweet :) 3-0 and we were cruising..wasnt long before the fourth came..murali played a wonderful ball with his outside foot to majun down the left..and our captain gung beat the offside trap and burst down the flank before completing the one-two and giving murali his brace.. 4-0 ..yay..our best performance of the year thats for sure..and a good way to end our winless run..innova next thurs..i smell blood rahhhh..

rest the day was damn boring..i slept and went out for dinner..and now im witnessing a simplystoopid man u performance..hahaa i dont exactly care now..theres only the A div on my mind..rawr..and as ive been telling my teammates..from now till the end of the season..life=soccer (and studies but what the heck la i cant be bothered anymore)

acjc vs innova..14/4/05..one monster kill coming up